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I like turtles. No, I mean, I REAAAAAALLY like turtles. 

Man Caught Trying to Smuggle 51 Turtles Stuffed in his Pants
September 26, 2014
HappyReaper
Border guard: "is that 51 turtles in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" Smuggler: "It's 51 turtles". Border guard: "Oh... :("
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RaincoatHermit
Poor guy was suffering from a reptile dysfunction.
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PEN15pumper
I like turtles.
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Spudtron98
"Hey kid... wanna buy some turtles?" (Drops pants)
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RikersTrombone
That's at least five turtles too many.
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Shut Up!
One big red slider seems much more preferable.
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tornadoslacks
Holy wow, can these fuckdorks ever get it through their heads that ground up turtle shells, rhino horns, elephant nuts (etc.) will never give them bigger wieners or better looking girls? They should just start scammy hedge funds and/or order extravagantly priced alcohol in clubs. That will at least get them one Kardashian.
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yojoono
At least they weren't crabs..
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plipyplop
HORRAY! I just found my new fetish!
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still-improving
That "man"? Splinter.
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Peterson Malval
I bet the border agents were Shell shocked ! (ooh man that's bad... srry)
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Tagged: WTF, Viral, Weird, Animals
Page Views: 1803
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